If my life is like the dust…

There’ve been some dramatic changes with the whole Stop.The.World effect… I don’t know how to start. Not only this post. Anything.

Feels like sht.

It’s THE TIME to realise what is NEVER.
And we’re NEVER ready for it.

I may swear I hate stability but I’m never ready for NEVER.

As you might have felt, I lost somebody very special. I could see it coming as ageing has only one grand finale…
but it’s never easy.

I don’t want to talk much about it. Let all the good memories stay inside. I remember. And I will.

It is just hard to get used to.
Hard to get used to NEVER talking to somebody.
Never to share… Never to ask for advice… Never to smile…

Since then music doesn’t hit me like it used to. I’m on a pause. I don’t know what to listen and when to listen to it. Never had this problem before. But one song is with me all the time. For months

It’s beautifully describes all the struggles we go through.

Dinah Washington & Max Ritcher – This Bitter Earth from The Blue Notebooks album.

..and this video:

I ‘met’ Max Richter one day on Spotify. Accidentally. At work when it was all falling apart and the inevitable loss was close by. I immediately fell in love with Max’s nostalgic tunes. They have that vulnerability and that pain which I felt… Yet they all have a hope.

Max Richter is a German-born British musician. He is classically trained but goes beyond the genres. The edges should be blurred, the music is the music. When electronic tunes and basses meet the piano or the cello, that’s when the magic happens.

The Blue Notebooks I’ve listened to was the album of 2018. However, it is a new revisited version of the album which went out in 2004. It was written as a reflection to a shock caused by invasion to Iraq. When the facts didn’t matter and when the things just happen… After 15 years, we see the remastered and bigger version of the same album. With a couple tracks which weren’t previously included.

One of them is my personal favourite which got me through – Dinah Washington & Max Ritcher – This Bitter Earth. Soulful vocals of the Queen of Blues on the top of the crying strings and ambient sounds. Modern classical, electronically flavoured. Lyrical and bluesy soulful.

That genius mashup was created by Martin Scorsese and Robbie Robertson as a soundtrack for the movie Shutter Island. The lyrics and the vocal perfectly match the movie theme. And they do even more as they light up thoughts and lives.

I am back because of the music. It is everywhere, it gives the right push.
the kick…
to go through This Bitter Earth.

In fact, I listened to Max Richter’s rehearsals and soundcheck for SLEEP performance in Grand Park. It happened right after I discovered him on Spotify. The featured image of the silent fountain I made during Max’s soundcheck in Grand Park perfectly represent my mood today. The stop-state of calming down.

And yet I’m back
with the music.

The journey has a sound…


Another coincidence drags me out of the moods and into this world – when I turn my music off, I hear the neighbour playing classics on the piano. [The perks of living by the Philharmonics.] Whoever you are, dear neighbour, I’m in love with you for the music you’re playing and for that therapy you give me without even knowing it.


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